Let's reframe blame. Certainly, we all get hurt, feel rejected, not loved or angry and resentful when this happens. And, normally we blame the other person involved with us for what they have done to us, or we hate ourselves instead. Either way - reaction and blame is a natural conditioned response to emotional pain complete with foul utterances of negativity and rebuttle... not so kind. What if there is another way to process the inner pain we feel at times, especially when it comes to the actions/reactions of the people we love?
Remember that everyone is a mirror into our core wounds that are re-enacted until that trauma energy releases over time. What if our arguments and communication are really an indication of what is still inside of us to heal and transform? I have learned that the only thing that really works for healing and transforming relationship issues (or anything else) is ME taking 100% responsibility for what it is that I am experiencing in my life and in my relationship challenges….Vs. blaming anyone else for anything, not You, not even ME.
If I blame my partner for what he or she is doing to me, I will not heal. Why? Because, as long as I am blaming another person for what is happening in my life, I am a victim. I am ready therefore, to realize and re-frame blame.
How can this be so? Remember, that we are attracting all of our experiences according to the dominant stored energy in our bodies, which came from our past experiences. If we were abandoned, we carry that frequency in our energy field. Abandonment, rejection, fear, abuse, neglect and all old pain stays in our energy body, if not physically released - and we magnetize similar experiences with other people.
My old wounds get re-enacted with others, and as I express, release and heal the old wounds, I no longer have the same experiences. So when something bad happens, the truth is that it is on its way out, and an amazing opportunity to understand my own energy.
If I blame others instead without realizing what is really going, I never get to heal the original pain energy and have missed an opportunity to cleanse it all out of me.
It is almost fun to practice opposite reactions to our situations so to truly re-imprint and re-frame our blame reactions. For example, instead of blaming, say to yourself … “Oh my goodness! I have re-created my past feelings and negative beliefs about myself with ______. When I was young, my dad left me and I begged him not to go. So, now I think you are going to leave too, and then I REACT.”
And next you think, ” my reaction and feeling was based on my old belief system that dad will leave and he must not love me or want me… and this situation feels similar. I HAVE ATTRACTED this situation SO THAT I CAN HEAL THE ORIGINAL PAIN! What a wonderful thing!”
This time, my loved ones... instead of reacting the same old way, re-living the pattern over and over, I am willing to take responsibility for my creations. In so doing, I am not blaming myself either. My soul has assisted me in re-creating a similar experience, so I can heal. This all means in truth that I am moving toward wholeness.
I choose now to perceive my life from this viewpoint. In this way, I never again need to blame anyone for anything. This does not mean that I will never feel angry or resentful or scared… and I may react again. The thing is - I will PROCESS the experience through and apply this powerful way of being with it. I re-frame blame and acknowledge that whatever is coming up is on it’s way out.
And so it is that I as am here for the healing, I am grateful and rejoice in this knowledge, as I become a powerful creator of extraordinary love relationship in my life.
Much love, ❤️
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