Whenever I have a problem or issue with you, I have an opportunity to heal and transform something inside me. Our issues dysfunctionally fit together like puzzle pieces. When my mind is open and I embrace these principles, I begin to realize that all my problems and issues are really opportunities to heal myself.
To my loved ones - I am learning that my core issues get re-enacted in my relationship with you and the same is happening for you. If I have a core issue of abandonment, you probably have a core issue of enmeshment. If I have a core issue of care-taking my parents from an early age – I will attract a partner who needs to be taken care of too (or at least I think I have to). If my father was an alcoholic, I will surely attract another alcoholic or someone with addiction problems. If my mother had an affair with someone, then I will attract someone who does the same (or at least I will fear that this will happen to me). If any of my caretakers were ragers - yelling, hitting and putting me down, I will attract a mate who may do the same, or if he even raises his voice, I will say he is abusing me. Or, I could do the opposite and become one of my parents. Oh no!
Exactly what are our core wounds and core issues? Core issues stem from trauma we experienced early on in our lives - times we did not feel safe or did not receive enough care, love and safety. Such times include conception, womb birth and childhood pain…anything that caused our nervous system to experience non-safety and non- love are traumatic. Trauma is what happened to us, as well as what did not happen for us.
Abandonment, alcoholism and addiction, death, loss, poverty, neglect, sexual abuse, physical abuse, emotional abuse, religious abuse, codependency and care taking - to name a few, create core wounds that program the nervous system and body over time. As adults, we experience our world from a trauma state of being, thinking, feeling and perceiving. Yes, we perceive the world from the state of our nervous system, and we perceive our relationships also from this state.
Loving someone will trigger our core wounds - mirror our core wounds. I invite you to understand and know that when we are triggered, when the mirror appears, we have the opportunity to heal something big, instead of walking away from the pain.
Because I desire a beautiful relationship with someone I love, I am committed to clarity and discovery of my own core issues. Then - to heal, transform and resolve the patterns and beliefs that happen for me because of them. If I do not, my old trauma patterns will stop me from having a close, loving and intimate relationship with you.
Yes, all relationships are MIRRORING something back to you about yourself. It does not matter if that something about you is painful or joyful, positive or negative… the mirror goes both ways, as does a real mirror.
Because of this principle, we can say that there is never a reason to blame anyone for doing something to you, rather you are having an experience with someone who has been attracted into your energy. This does not justify bad behavior in anyone, more precisly - assists with an awareness of the actual science and psychology of what is going on. People are acting out of the only consciousness they presently live with - their own core issues, beliefs, thoughts and feelings, and are motivated by the experiences and trauma stored in the body/mind. Noone can do anything differently until the trauma imprint is released and re-programmed.
Painful or joyful experiences with another person are literally and energetically matching a similar vibrational wave frequency in you - as electromagnetic energy. If you are conscious, this knowledge will assist you in navigating all that is going on, when you are not having a good time. This mirror will reflect something in you or something not completely released yet that you need to work on next. Whatever is coming up, is ready to move out. Yay!
The mirror is the magic when you discover what it means - a real gift. When you understand and live this principle, you are living in higher consciousness and you are free.
Finding the gift means that you get to perceive all of your experiences as part of something bigger.... as teaching moments and opportunities to find the good. At the same time, never forget that expressing your feelings about whatever is going on is of utmost important always and forever. Finding the hidden meaning in the mirror and receiving the gift, does not mean staying in abusive relationships.
If you are experiencing pain in your life, it is very important to express your feelings. It is important to use the feelings formula to express your feelings and release them from your body. You can perceive all of your life in a new and positive way instead of fearing pain.
Express your feelings rather than becoming the feeling and Use “ I feel....”
rather than “I AM….” Expressing and releasing hurt, fear, shame, anger, sadness, grief, even rage and terror is about cleansing your body and is not about blame.
Interpreting your triggers from this viewpoint, offers you an opportunity to re-frame whatever is going on and experience soul liberation. As you assimilate and master these teachings, applying them to all your pain, your patterns shift, you will take on a new way of being - embodying a tool for discovering what is really going on, especially as you truly feel gratitude for the teaching moments in your life. Oh, how the mirror is our teacher, the messenger. And as they say - "Don't Kill the Messenger."
Now, it is easier to understand that every relationship I have is mirroring something about me that is wanting to come up into consciousness for my healing and transformation...for my wholeness and the evolution of my soul.
And so it is that I give thanks for the mirrors my loved ones present to me, as these challenges bring me a new understanding of the bigger picture and I walk into the next place of growth for myself and the people I love.
Much love, ❤️
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